Frog Farming? What is it? And are you doing it?
For those of you who are reading our book of the month The Queen’s Code by Allison Armstrong (don’t worry if you aren’t- we will give you summary notes next week, and debrief it on the FB Live on Monday) you’ll know frog farming is simply this:
We meet a Prince > We try to perfect them > If they don’t comply, we emasculate them (to punish them) > They become frogs.
Now there is a bit more to the theory, but that’s the essence. And who wants to be in a relationship with a frog?
So now we know what we don’t want (frogs) we can get on with what we do want (princes). There are some simple steps to do that, and yet again, guess where it all begins? You got it: right here.
Deep down we all know men aren’t stupid, rude, dismissive, controlling or deliberately hurtful. They are just different to us. Testosterone and Oestrogen effect the brain differently, which affects how we interpret the world. Oestrogen has a huge effect on the amygdala, which means we tend to see all.of.the.things, as well as to think that the current negative situation will be with us forever (which is why we try to multi-task and catastrophise). Testosterone however, sees single problems and solves them, which is why the males in your life may walk past three things that need to be done (and we would do along the way) to get to the destination.
So this week we would love you to simply start noticing these differences, and most importantly, notice what happens when you observe a man not behaving like the PERFECT PERSON (who just happens to be a woman of course).
Do you think something disparaging, “He’s so stupid” or something to make you feel more in control, “I wouldn’t have done it like that” or do you reflect it back to yourself, “If I was more pretty/sexy/clever he would do that for me”? HINT: This last one is the most common theme underlying this, and it is incredibly damaging.
They key this week is to notice, notice, notice. In yourself, in your friends and even in the media. You’ll quickly see that the stereotypical behaviour of tearing men down is endemic in our culture. The GREAT news is, we can do something about it and step into our own gorgeous power, in a way that is SO MUCH more enjoyable. So tune in the the podcast tomorrow where we will get into this in more detail.
Happy UN Frog Farming.